As a point of reference - that is more than double the time I have been employed anywhere else in my adulting life. It's monumental. Maybe I should be looking for a new employer...
Anyway, I realized there was something nagging at my brain. Today, five years ago, I was purchasing a burial plot for my dad - who wasn't quite dead yet.
(I realize this attempt at humor will not appeal to all who see it, but it is, no lie, what went through my head that day. And he's my dad, so too bad.)
I also was working on his obituary.
I didn't tell my employer about my dad when I interviewed, or even when I was hired. First of all, I guess I didn't think it was their business. Secondly, I probably selfishly hoped that by not treating it as an issue, then - perhaps - he would stick around a little longer. But during the day on Tuesday (the day after I started) I talked to my mom who said she didn't think my dad would live much longer. I went in and told my employer about my dad and explained that I was sorry, but I had to go that night and I didn't know when I would be back.
My brother, IV, picked me up from the airport and although I don't recall the specifics of our discussion on the drive to Provo, I can tell you it is the most real and adult conversation we had ever had.
The next 3 days were spent sitting around talking with family and friends who came and went. And sitting with dad at his bed talking, even though he couldn't really respond. Just letting him know what was going on with things - new job, some family history and genealogy work I had been doing and how the kids were doing. And that I loved him.
One the evening of the 9th of August, after church representatives and lots of extended family had left, my brothers and I gathered downstairs for some Mario Kart and other video games. It was a way to escape for a little while. At some point, some of the brothers decided to leave and I as ready to get a little bit of sleep.
However, across the hallway, in my dad's room, I sensed something was different. My brother VII was in there and I joined him and his wife. We let the other brothers know who were still at my parent's house and my mom. My mom called the two who had left, as well.
We all sat around my dad and waited - mostly quietly - as we watched my dad die.
I sat.
Helpless.
At times very disturbed at what I was witnessing.
Mourning.
Sorrowing.
Yet...at peace.
The unpeaceful nature of his passing was offset by peace. Peace knowing that death is part of God's plan. That some things transpired just prior to his passing that were a real testament to me that others were in that room who were not seen by us. That death is not really the end.
But I am not going to lie - as a human being, I had to work out some feelings and thoughts on that experience. I was not prepared for watching my dad die. If you can prepare for it, I highly recommend it.
I miss my dad. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't the greatest person to ever live. But he was my dad. And he taught me things. I learned from him by watching and doing. I also learned from him by watching and not doing. But he was a good man who just wanted to be a good dad. And he was that.
So there you go, I have to always remember that my work anniversary is tied to the anniversary of my dad's death.
