A Friday Afternoon Phone Call

Last Friday, the drive to be reunited with my family in Enterprise (travel tip: it's a GREAT place to celebrate the 24th of July - but don't because you'll ruin it for the rest of us) was interrupted when I stopped to help an unfortunate woman change a flat tire. I called to apprise Nicki of the situation:

"Hello?"

"Well, I just helped a lady change her tire in 110 degrees on the hill coming up out of Glendale."

"That was nice of you. Stop and get some water in Mesquite."

"Oh, I have some water with me, so I'll be okay."

"That's good."

"Yeah, I figured it was the least I could do after she ran over Nick's bike."

I had just purchased said bike a couple of hours earlier for Nick's birthday. The bike rack failed to hang on to it as, in my rearview mirror, I watched it bounce off the back of my car along the freeway and finally come to rest on the white lines in the middle of the road.

As I walked back to retrieve the bike, I was pleasantly surprised to see that drivers - even truck drivers - were swerving their vehicles to the shoulders of the highway to avoid running over it. Apparently, however, this woman did not see everyone doing that. Nor did she see, apparently, the bike.

She certainly felt it. In fact, it startled her to the point that she swerved in panic to avoid the bike (over which she had just driven) and nearly drove off into the median - which at that point is about a 15-foot drop.

I heard her tire blow. Although, I didn't watch her beyond the initial swerve. I kept my eyes fixed on what used to be a bicycle. I could only think, "Great. Not only is arrival at my destination delayed because of having to pick up this mess, but am I going to have to pay for that tire, too? And if that car wrecks, I will be delayed even longer. Please don't wreck. Please don't wreck." To my relief, I didn't hear any wrecking.

After relating this and the rest of the story to Nicki, she said, "You have to stop at Walmart in St. George and buy another bike."

This was not what I had in mind. "Can't we just give him this bike and say, 'When we get back to Las Vegas, we will buy you one just like it, only not broken?'" I may have let out a small chuckle.

"That is NOT funny. It's lame!"

"Oh, I think if you will stop to think about it for a moment, you will find that it is a little bit funny."

Actually, I am having a small chuckle about it again, right now.

The result:



The moral of this story: Don't transport bikes as birthday presents. Take a picture of the bicycle. Then give your child the picture and say, "This is waiting for you at home."

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Single's Life for Me

Remember being single? (Not you, Alex. You are single.)

Life was carefree. Get up. Watch TV. Go to work (or school). Sleep. Watch TV. Eat. Sleep. Watch TV. Date. Watch TV. Sleep.

Watch TV on your date. Watch TV while you eat. Watch TV at work. Watch TV in bed.

This is what single people do, right? Wasn't it great? Sometimes, for those who are married, the more selfish among us think it would be nice to have some time to ourselves, similar to when we were single. It would be all lollipops and rainbows. Unicorns and glitter.

Yeah...no. I have been living the bachelor life (notice that I did not say "The Bachelor" life - that's a completely different life) for the past 2 and a half weeks. Just so we're clear, there has been no dating. To the chagrin of many, I might add.

Oh, it's been peaceful around the house. Nobody around to interrupt whatever I want to do with my time. So that's been the question, what do I do with my time? I have parties!!

By myself.

At several of these parties, I cleaned and straightened the house a little bit each day. I would feed the dogs, take out the garbage, and clean up dog feces. Helpful hint for all (especially Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout): clean up the dog poop BEFORE taking the garbage out.


At another party, I did laundry and folded it while watching TLC, HGTV and the Discovery Channel.

It got really crazy at the party where I did some home teaching and service activities. The stories that could be told...being a gentleman, I won't.

My one decadent indulgence with everyone gone was exercise. Swimming. Biking. Running. Don't be jealous. You want to, too.

I have missed my family profoundly. I am sure it will take me all of 5 minutes to get over it once they are home, but I miss the noise and the chaos of six kids. Having no dirty dishes in the house is over-rated. No dirty clothes? Over-rated. Trust me on this one.

More than anything, I miss Nicki. I remember what I didn't like about being single. At least we have phones, texting, email and Facebook to communicate. When I was single, I didn't have anyone to communicate with.

Let me clarify: I didn't have anyone who I loved dearly and will be with for eternity. When I was single, I knew people. I was popular. Way. At least, for anyone who didn't know me back then is concerned, that's what you need to know.

I am grateful we can have the opportunity for the kids, and Nicki, to do summer workshops at BYU this year, but I am glad it's almost over.

Thankfully, I know Nicki is ready to come home, too. Apparently, being away from home as a single parent of six kids isn't all unicorns and glitter, either.

Number Four

Here it is, the latest installment of what I really think about my brothers.

Number Four is, well, very smart. He also was the target of most of our teasing before Number Six came along. Peter tended to be slightly smaller and less athletic than the rest of us - even Number Five. And he was a little, well, book & tech smart.





All of that adds up to one thing:


Oh, it's not nice, to be sure. I can see that now...some 30 years later. And although he is still slightly less athletic than most of the Brothers, he is no longer slightly smaller than most of them. Besides, we have all matured to a point where there is no senseless teasing amongst or targeted at any one of us.

Mom & Dad, please get up off the floor and stop laughing.

Hey, he's a really good uncle to my children. He plays with them and entertains them - most of the time in an age-appropriate manner. Today, he's spending several hours playing Mario Kart with them (their birthday present to him). He even stays relatively patient with them, if he's not in a liquid-waste-poor mood. A bonus - if we avoid the subject of illegal immigration, we can have decent conversations.

These are the things that tend to be more and more important to me. True, he's not married and is not terribly active in the Church right now, but he's only 30-something. He should have another 50-plus years to figure those things out.

In the words of the all-wise Neil Diamond, "He ain't feckless, he's my brother."

I love you, Pete.