No, it doesn't always seem like it's been that long.
Yes, I think about that night a lot.
No, I am not always comforted by things I know to be true, regardless of how surely I think I know them.
Yes, I do find hope and peace in certain memories from the experience.
My friend tells me that some of the pain I have eases over time and that I will start to let the peace and hope outweigh the pain, distress and regret.
It's still hard to not be able to call my dad and just talk. It's not like we did that all the time, but I like knowing I always could. Whatever it was - politics, BYU football, something the kids were doing. It's nice to be able to talk to your dad about those things - especially when you are on the same page. And we were.
And he was always supportive of me and what we were doing. Any other disagreements we had didn't wash away the fact that I knew he loved me and was proud of me and my family.
So, today, two years from that early morning hour when I watched my dad pass from mortality, I miss him.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
There Is a God
Earlier this year, the Master of Laketown, Stephen Fry, blessed the public with his opinion on the existence of God.
In it, he said that God is evil. Now, I am not completely familiar with how atheists define evil, since they don't believe in God, but I will address his bravado regarding his meeting with God.
He said that IF there is a God, when he meets Him, he will have one question and one question only: "What is the deal with childhood cancer?" I may have quoted him as Jerry Seinfeld, but that is basically the idea. Then he goes on in his blasphemous rant, of which I could only listen to less than a minute - which is why I have not provided a link to the interview here.
I am a father to a child with cancer, so I feel that I have somewhat of an expertise and a right to speak on this matter.
Master Fry, go ahead and act all tough here on earth. Display the bravado and ego about how brash you will be in the face of your Creator. It will all disappear on that day. Blasphemy will get you attention here for the shock value. Congratulations.
However, when you get to the "Pearly Gates," if you will, and you have your brief opportunity to meet with God, I doubt you will have the ability to speak your blasphemous question. More likely, you will be so struck with awe in the presence of His majesty and His glory that your tongue will be bound. Couple that with the quick rise of guilt and shame that will come over you as you recall wasting your life fighting against Him and His word and His believers.
God lives.
It is He who sustains me through the trial of having a child with cancer. He didn't give my daughter cancer. But he allows the human condition to persist - including cancer in bodies of all ages - so that we can strive to be perfect, like Him. I've made my peace with that long ago, because whatever the pains and trials we have to endure here are nothing compared to the glory and beauty that awaits us in the eternities.
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| Heaven knows I trust this face for opinions on God. |
He said that IF there is a God, when he meets Him, he will have one question and one question only: "What is the deal with childhood cancer?" I may have quoted him as Jerry Seinfeld, but that is basically the idea. Then he goes on in his blasphemous rant, of which I could only listen to less than a minute - which is why I have not provided a link to the interview here.
I am a father to a child with cancer, so I feel that I have somewhat of an expertise and a right to speak on this matter.
Master Fry, go ahead and act all tough here on earth. Display the bravado and ego about how brash you will be in the face of your Creator. It will all disappear on that day. Blasphemy will get you attention here for the shock value. Congratulations.
However, when you get to the "Pearly Gates," if you will, and you have your brief opportunity to meet with God, I doubt you will have the ability to speak your blasphemous question. More likely, you will be so struck with awe in the presence of His majesty and His glory that your tongue will be bound. Couple that with the quick rise of guilt and shame that will come over you as you recall wasting your life fighting against Him and His word and His believers.
God lives.
It is He who sustains me through the trial of having a child with cancer. He didn't give my daughter cancer. But he allows the human condition to persist - including cancer in bodies of all ages - so that we can strive to be perfect, like Him. I've made my peace with that long ago, because whatever the pains and trials we have to endure here are nothing compared to the glory and beauty that awaits us in the eternities.
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