When the announcement was first made that Disney would be releasing a live-action version of Beauty and the Beast, my reaction was: "No. Please don't mess it up. I really hope it doesn't suck."
As they announced individuals who would be in it, well, my opinion didn't change drastically. Even (or especially) when Emma Watson was announced as Belle. "Can she even sing?", I wondered. I mean, Hermione Granger never had any musical moments that I can recall. And there were about 20 of those films.
Although I really am fond of Emma as a person (she and I are tight, as you are no doubt aware), BATB is a musical. The music is so much of what made that movie awesome. When I first saw the movie, I could easily picture it on the stage...and lo and behold it became a stage production. It was a great musical in its own right.
Ms. Watson is not a classically trained vocalist. Or even a trained vocalist, really, at all.
By the way, I love how she largely set aside an acting career, for a time, to pursue and finish a degree in English Literature. How Belle is that?
Well, the Averys went to see the movie this week. Expectations were high - although I, personally, was trying to keep them so low to prevent disappointment.
Then, as the Disney opening animation began, we were treated with a voiced narrative description of what was happening on the screen. It was as though someone was reading the actual script for the movie while the movie played. And it continued as the show began.
"...A CURTAIN OF RED ROSES IS DRAWN ACROSS THE SCREEN. A SINGLE ROSE IS LEANED TOWARD THE AUDIENCE..."
I immediately jumped out of my seat and found the first employee in the lobby and explained what was going on and that it had to stop. Then I went back in.
It continued. Yet, even through the narration, before Belle finished singing the first words, "Little town, it's a quiet village...", it was painfully obvious she had been auto-tuned. I think the rare moments where it was truly her voice were fine - her voice reflected the innocence and such of Belle. And I don't fault her for the sound. It was a horrible choice (in my opinion) of the director and sound people being too afraid of imperfection. Forget that her voice rarely even sounded like a real voice - it was the trademark steps up or down you hear in "Believe" by Cher.
So, now not only did I have the female version of Hot Rod Hundley giving me the play-by-play of a movie over the speakers, I was going to have to listen to THAT the whole movie.
As for the narration, shortly after Gaston arrived in town (and after 6 or 7 others went out to complain, including Nicki), the projector turned off and the lights came up. I clapped.
After a few minutes, the lights dimmed and the movie started again at the Disney animation - with the narration AGAIN. They hadn't fixed it.
I am certain it was a simple checkbox on the computer. "Click here for annoying narration." All they would need to do is uncheck that box, right?
Nicki exited again and told an employee to give her 3D glasses for our family because she was going to take us all in there where the movie was just about to begin. Then...a click and split-second silence in the middle of "Belle" (Little Town) and...voila...narration gone.
Problem one solved. Now, on to enjoying the movie. (Spoiler alert - the theater gave everyone a voucher for a free movie as we left to make up for the "technical problem.")
And...I did enjoy it. Singing aside, Emma Watson is, in appearance and presence and personality so much Belle. She just oozed the part beautifully.
Dave was great as Crazy Old Maurice.
Bard the Bowman did wonderfully as Gaston.
I hated him. And I loved him - although perhaps not as much as LeFou, who was played perfectly by Josh Gad. So funny. Some really great lines. I also loved how he was spreading around the coinage to keep people engaged during "Gaston."
Oh yeah...so...Lefou. That I even think that I have to mention this is utterly ridiculous, but here goes. The idiot director, Bill Condon, decided to announce that the movie was a triumph to gay people everywhere. And that it was set the new standard for inclusion of LGBT people in mainstream movies.
Or something like that. I love it when directors feel like they have to tell us how we are supposed to interpret their art. Isn't the point of art that everyone reacts to it in a different way?
Then came the uproar.
Watching this movie with that in mind, I kept waiting and waiting for this moment that was to transfigure the world and make me, my wife, and all my children gay.
Another spoiler alert - it didn't happen.
In fact, if nothing had ever been said about it...EVER...in the first place, I would guess that approximately 4 people in the world who might care would have picked up on it. Perhaps fewer. I know I would not have noticed anything that should have offended my senses.
A big bowl of nothing soup.
Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly willing to express moral outrage. There just was nothing here for me to waste my precious allotment of moral outrage energy on. So, settle down, everybody, and enjoy the movie.
Hey! That's right, I was making an attempt at reviewing a movie!
The castle characters included Gandalf, Madame Trelawney, Young Obi Wan and Caesar Flickerman.
There were some script changes and small rewrites. I know there will be purists who can't stand the smallest change. I thought they all worked well. I especially like the rewrite to the scene when Beast shows Belle the library. For me, it worked.
Also, I really liked the way the spell is broken in the movie. (Sorry for yet another spoiler, but the Beast does turn back into a Prince.) Don't get me wrong, I always have loved me some magic rain, but I really liked the rewrite.
There were several humorous asides and wall breaks. The scenery was beautiful and the CG wolves - so good. Beast's CG was also well done, I thought.
It's a great story of acceptance, beauty, love, redemption, forgiveness. My allergies even acted up.
The music? They are all actors first and singers second - with the very obvious exception of one Audra McDonald. Oh! It was so nice to hear her singing "Beauty and the Beast" at the end of the movie. Don't get me wrong, Emma Thompson did okay as Mrs. Potts, but I would have loved to hear more from Audra.
As long as the sound is honest, I can live with (reconcile myself to) the choices of acting over singing. But, the dishonesty of the auto tuning really turned me off. There is a time and a place for it. I think it can be used for good things - but the purist in me says that musicals are not the place. I understand that recordings are done in the studio and dubbed over and there were times that it looked lip-synched. (Frankly, many of the townspeople did not appear to be singing at all - just straight-up unashamedly lip-synching.)
Yes, even the singing voice is not always the same as the acting voice. Honestly, I can get behind that sooner than the auto-tuning.
Ultimately - I enjoyed the movie. I give it 4 thumbs. Or whatever. It was really good. There is no reason to hate this movie to the point of not enjoying it. I promise.
If you do, then you probably hate puppies and baby seals and have problems bigger than this movie.
