There Is a God

Earlier this year, the Master of Laketown, Stephen Fry, blessed the public with his opinion on the existence of God.

Heaven knows I trust this face for opinions on God.

In it, he said that God is evil. Now, I am not completely familiar with how atheists define evil, since they don't believe in God, but I will address his bravado regarding his meeting with God.

He said that IF there is a God, when he meets Him, he will have one question and one question only: "What is the deal with childhood cancer?" I may have quoted him as Jerry Seinfeld, but that is basically the idea. Then he goes on in his blasphemous rant, of which I could only listen to less than a minute - which is why I have not provided a link to the interview here.

I am a father to a child with cancer, so I feel that I have somewhat of an expertise and a right to speak on this matter.

Master Fry, go ahead and act all tough here on earth. Display the bravado and ego about how brash you will be in the face of your Creator. It will all disappear on that day. Blasphemy will get you attention here for the shock value. Congratulations.

However, when you get to the "Pearly Gates," if you will, and you have your brief opportunity to meet with God, I doubt you will have the ability to speak your blasphemous question. More likely, you will be so struck with awe in the presence of His majesty and His glory that your tongue will be bound. Couple that with the quick rise of guilt and shame that will come over you as you recall wasting your life fighting against Him and His word and His believers.

God lives.

It is He who sustains me through the trial of having a child with cancer. He didn't give my daughter cancer. But he allows the human condition to persist - including cancer in bodies of all ages - so that we can strive to be perfect, like Him. I've made my peace with that long ago, because whatever the pains and trials we have to endure here are nothing compared to the glory and beauty that awaits us in the eternities.

Some Things Are More Important

So, as we were driving up to Primary Children's last week, I felt an odd sense of internal dread. Something not related to the issue we are dealing with as a family.

No, this was different. This was something more.

The skies were darkening all around me. Ominous imagery on every side of us.

You see, the road used to access the hospital drives straight into the belly of the beast.

All that bloody crimson red.  All those ugly block red & black Us.

I could feel my spirit waning and falling into the silent abyss...

Then Matti said, "Dad, are you sure you're going to be okay coming here?"

Mustering up all the energy and courage I had, I assured her that, "Some things are far more important than even my hatred for the University of Utah."

"Wow, Dad! Thanks! I really feel special! Just kidding...no...but really, thanks!!"

She get's it.  Trust me.

It Was Only In My Dream

At least, that's what I keep expecting to find out. It's kind of a foggy non-reality right now. The same is true for the rest of the family.

Of course, this entire week has not been the greatest spring break ever. Only fitting that we end it with news of cancer. And for my daughter.

I'm her father. All I can do is call doctors and research and hug her. It doesn't feel like enough. I'm frustrated, confused and angry, too. I try to convince myself that when we next meet with the doctors, they will say, "Oops, we made a mistake. Our bad."

I Am a Ranting Boob

Editors note: I wrote this originally a couple of years ago.  I decided not to publish it back then.  However, in light of my family's recent experience with cancer, I am publishing it now.  So there.

What is it about teenagers today that causes them to completely ignore anything their parents say?

I know I wasn't like that when I was a teenager. I was a very humble, compliant young man. I listened to and heeded all the advice of my wise, loving, parents on account of their vast wealth of knowledge and experience. (Come on, Mom, back me up here!)

I am very much opposed to cancer. All kinds of cancer - including, of course, breast cancer. I, like most people, have known women who have had breast cancer. Some have died. Some have survived.

I want someone to find a cure. I want people to be aware of the issue and support the find for a cure. I want people to wear pink ribbons and pink t-shirts and run in marathons and 5ks to help raise the awareness, as well as funds that supports research of a cure for breast cancer.

I am NOT a fan of bracelets and bumper stickers and shirts that express a love for "boobies."

Call me what you will. I think it is just a little bit...well, stupid. How is using a slang term for a female anatomy going to raise cancer awareness? It raises awareness, sure..of the sexualization of said anatomy.

Don't get me wrong. I don't disagree with the sentiment the bracelet is conveying. But, I don't think that is the way to express my love and appreciation for them.  Nor do I believe it raises appropriate awareness of cancer.

If that is the case, then I would like to start a bracelet and t-shirt campaign raising awareness for testicular cancer. Can you guess what they are going to say, Richard? Not the same, you say? I beg to differ. It's exactly the same.

Wear the pink ribbon. Run (or walk) in the 5k. Donate when a cousin (or friend) whose mother died of breast cancer asks you - even if it is just $5. But let's all be respectful, please. Speak like an educated adult.

This is all I am trying to teach my 13-year-old daughter. Yet, what was on her wrist when I came home from work yesterday?